How Human Design has helped me navigate this decision
It was a chilly January 4th earlier this year when my 4/6 Projector partner and I were out for a hike in the woods. He was sharing about his travelling adventures in Bali from a few years ago and how he has a deep calling within him to move there. At the time, we were only 5 months into our relationship. I listened to him talk about how he felt at "Home" in tropical paradise, and while I was happy he was open and sharing, I couldn't help but think to myself "Ok, but where am I in the picture? Am I laying in the hammock next to him orrr...?"
My open solar plexus didn't allow me to ask in that moment because *control to prevent emotional gangbusters*, but a few hours later I gained the courage...in a text... because *baby steps*. His response, "Let's do it together!"
I wish I could honestly tell you that in that moment my Sacral Authority responded with a "Hell Yes!" Truthfully, I don't remember what my sacral said. If I am to be completely transparent, my sacral hasn't really said much in the way of the classic teachings of "uh hu!" or "uh uh". However, what HAS been speaking is the Universe, and more specifically, my internal pull.
This is what I want to discuss today.
The Internal Pull comes from our Sacral Centre, and it is said that this is the next level sacral responding, or basically, once you have a good relationship with your sacral "yes" and 'no', you will start to notice that the sacral will pull you in the direction of your path. If we recall, the healthy aura of a Generator is Open and Enveloping, here to draw life to us to respond too. As well, our Magnetic Monopole, which is housed in our G Centre, also pulls life through love towards us to help us along our path.
I am still relatively new to my internal pull, and experimenting a lot with it, so please note that I am only speaking through my experience as it is unique to me. Everyone's relationship with their sacral is individual to them.
Here is the thing about my Internal Pull: I noticed it became activated when I truly and fully surrendered to the Universe. And I want to discern, I didn't throw my hands up in the air to say "I give up! It's in your hands now!" What I did say was "I have my absolute faith that I am guided by you to lead me in the correct direction so I can fulfill what I am called to do." But more importantly, I ENERGETICALLY communicated that.
When we started to really talk about moving to Bali, I literally sat down with the Universe and said "OK, if this is meant to happen, I need it to be clear to me. I need this process to flow."
The irony in this I now recognize is, life is MEANT to FLOW. When you are in flow, you are in correctness.
Since then, every sign, every step, has been leading and supporting me in this direction. One of the big tasks I put in the hands of the Universe, was the selling of my home that I own with my mom. I made my intentions clear that I wanted this to be easy. Frankly, I didn't want to put any of the prep work into my house, (which would have been a fair amount) I just wanted it to "sell". You are probably laughing, and I am right there laughing along with you, because I too recognize how ridiculous of an ask this was. Yet, I made my intention clear and put it fully into the hands of the Universe.
I used this same Internal Pull to choose my real estate agent back in March; a good friend of mine who was newer in the business. I initially wanted to put my home up in early summer with a move date in September. I just wanted to focus on work during the summer months. At the time of showing him my home to get an idea of price, he mentioned he had a client who may be interested in seeing the place, even before we put it on the market. "Sure!" I found my sacral saying.
I'm going to shorten this part of the story for emphasis: His client saw the place, put in an offer, and after a little back and forth we closed, getting much more than I ever thought we would, move out date mid September, WITHOUT doing any preparations, work or renos to get it on the market. Guys, literally the EASIEST sell one could ever want. And, one month later, I am told the market is dipping, so even when our home was sold was Divinely Timed.
Lesson I learned here? No ask is too big... BUT... you must surrender into full allowing. No expectations in the outcome. And no "but HOW?" Just surrender.
Another lesson is how sacral communicates. It isn't always going to be a 'Yes' or 'No'. Sometimes its a pull. And how, fellow Sacral beings do we know if we are responding to the correct thing? Simply: do you feel flow or do you feel frustration? Our not-self theme is a huge sign post that helps us recognize when we've been knocked off our path. For me, there has been no frustration in this process, so far.
Now, this is only one step of many that my partner and I must go through to get from here to Bali, and we may get there just to realize Bali isn't actually the place for us, and perhaps the Universe will guide us elsewhere. But again, I am choosing to have unwavering faith in this journey of incredible expansion.
Each and every step of the way, I am paying attention to my sacral. I am paying attention to how I am showing up. Am I trying to force an outcome or choice? Or am I flowing with how life is being presented to me? Do I feel my Internal Pull?
Yes, getting to Bali is pretty awesome, but the Journey there, I think, is even more important to document. This is the biggest experiment of trust of my path I have ever done. My default was always trying to "control" my life, the outcome (classic Generator conditioning).
Ok, so I am sure you are thinking, "Holy Shit! Bali! What are you going to do in Bali?!?"
One of the beautiful things my partner and I have in common, is we feel a deep draw, a deep calling to serve others (he is all Collective and Tribal circuitry, it's beautiful). We want to open a Wellness Retreat, a space where we can live off the land, in an environment that allows a year round growing season, in a beautiful location, next to the water (my environment is natural shores) to offer a space for others to heal, grow, expand and empower. We have many ideas of how this will look, that I will share in right timing.
For the past 10 years, whenever someone asked me "What is it that you want to do?" my answer was always "I want to help people" but I never knew how that would look. I felt frustrated because I just didn't know how. Human Design simply, has changed my life. Understanding my energetics has allowed me to surrender into Grace. My Line 3 life has gifted me lesson after lesson that I am able to share, for those who are drawn to learn. My circuitry is deeply Integrative, which commands that I listen to my intuition and guidance to connect with my higher calling. I am here to be Individual thus empowering others to lean into their Authenticity.
Even now, these words seem to flow from me. While it's taken me awhile to get to a point of sharing this incredible path with you, I knew I would be able to tell the story, that felt correct for me, in the right time. Inspired Action. But that's another topic for another post.
Remember, your energy is communicating with you every fucking day. It is time for you to listen.
With Light and Strength,
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